I came from a religious background and got married at 19. Six months later I fell pregnant because of the condom coming off inside me. I had just started a new university course and wasn’t sure if I ever wanted children. Despite this, and my now un-diagnosed chronic depression, my mother pressured me into the pregnancy and my husband offered no support. A year after giving birth I was diagnosed with post-partum depression and anxiety. I separated from my husband and began dating someone new.
When I got pregnant again, due to my irregular periods leading to ineffectual cycle tracking, I instantly knew I wanted an abortion. I feel guilty every day for bringing my first child into this world- even though myself and his father love him endlessly and co-parent successfully. All the same, I could never do that to another child, especially as my current boyfriend lives away from me while undergoing his PhD.
Having access to a women’s hospital was a wonderful experience. Everyone was really supportive and non-judgemental. I opted for a medicinal abortion and my boyfriend stayed with me for the weeks while I waited on the appointments and suffered through horrendous morning sickness. My ex was also brilliant in taking care of our son while I was poorly and was actually with me when I passed the pregnancy. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to tell my mum that I had an abortion, but I know without a doubt that it was the right decision for me to make.