I became pregnant by someone who I only briefly knew when I was travelling. I felt stupid because I would have been more careful but I thought I had taken the necessary precautions. As I was a solo traveller, I felt so alone. I still remember looking shocked at the pregnancy test, in complete terror. What had I done? The country I was in is anti-abortion due to its religion. I had to wait until I returned to the UK. By the time I had the abortion, it was almost 12 weeks, so I had to have a surgical abortion and be anaesthetised. I remember waking up afterwards, disoriented seeing the pale faces of other women in the beds facing me. When I was ready to move off the bed, blood gushed down my legs and on to the floor. It was a visual reminder of what had just happened. My friend picked me up from the hospital and took me home – it was about a week until I physically recovered. I think I would have recovered more quickly emotionally if I’d been able to use the counselling service that was offered (I had to decline as I was moving to a different city). I do not regret the decision to have an abortion – it would have been selfish to the baby to go through with it and I would not have wanted to do so alone and with limited financial support. I still feel uncomfortable knowing I was so torn, particularly when friends talk about their 12-week scan. But I did what was best for the unborn child something pro-life campaigners do not seem to understand. I feel grateful I was able to have a safe abortion in the UK, and count myself lucky compared to all the women around the world who do not have the same access.
I hope the future is more positive for women.
I wish I could talk about it more with others.